I sometimes wonder why I go to the trouble I do. This is not to say that I feel like a martyr. I don’t at all. What I mean to say is I sometimes have to pause and reflect. I am a little insecure. I don’t need constant reassurance but occasionally I need to be told that I am appreciated. I need to remember my motivation for doing what I do.
Like most parents, the day to day tedium is a thankless job. Get up early, pack lunches, make breakfast ,work all day, come home to kids who are starving, make a quick one-pan dinner and then hustle out to our evening activities come home, get the kids showered and in bed and crash.. This is a fairly typical day for anyone.
So at this point you may be wondering if I have a point here. I do. I am long winded..just like when you talk to me in person ????
Just when I’m feeling the most run down and overwhelmed, one of my kids stops me in my tracks. With a simple I missed you today I am again renewed and hopeful that I am not wasting my time with them. I am not spinning my wheels. Those 5 words made me happy and will carry me through to the next time they accidentally let a few kind words slip.
That’s why I do this. Bust it to be what they need and deserve. Hustle to give them what they need but not overindulge. Try just a little bit harder to be a good person even when it’s hard. They are watching me like I watched my parents. Someday they will do or say something that is “just like Mom”. I can only hope it is something good.
It is never more apparent how much they love me than when they come home from school to a warm and special snack. The look on my 11 year old’s face when he walks in after a long day at school and sees his favorite grilled peanut butter, honey and banana sandwich waiting for him is priceless. For that moment, when no one is looking, he will give me the deepest hardest hug and tell me he loves me. I have to savor it for too soon it will be gone.
This is why I write about food and family. Not for fame (seriously…there are like 6,000 food blogs out there), not for money but for me. This is for me, my family and for others that share the same happiness, trials, stresses that I do.
See, I am like most women I know. I don’t know if you all have a love for reading cookbooks like I do (Well…I know Isabelle does) or traveling to different areas to find new and unknown ingredients. I go to places like Trader Joe’s, Whole Foods, Fresh Market , Goose and Jungle Jim’s for fun. Like some people go to a casino or to the movies. Except with a yummy reward at the end!
I would like for you to read this and identify with me and think “Hey! I would like to hang out with her!”. I am just like you. I hope that you occasionally laugh with/at me and sometimes want to try a few of the recipes that my “Lab Rats” have given the Seal of Approval. If I can make it, anyone can. I am not Julia Child, but I sure wish I could cook like her.
But for right now I will be happy just being me. I have an awesome husband and 2 crazy wonderful boys. I have all that I need and every day I am grateful. They love me for who I am not who they hope I will be someday. A way to show them love to make little things. Little morsels of appreciation. I stock my freezer with these little tokens and they love me for it. Sometimes I make a burned blunder. A lot more misses than hits but this is all weaved into the tapestry that is my life. That’s my motivation for doing what I do.
I wouldn’t change a thing.