It sometimes, regretfully, takes something big in your life to give you perspective. You are going along, keeping house, having kids, chasing them around, working, blah, blah and all of the sudden life smacks you in the face and wakes you up.
I know this is heading down the cliche path so I will spare you my rhetoric….what I mean is you think: I am young, I work hard, eat well, exercise, hold the door for the elderly….no, really, I just slipped that in to see if you are paying attention ???? All of this good living should get you somewhere, right?
So when it all of the sudden comes to a screeching halt you have a lot of questions. Why me? Why now? Who is going to fix this? Well, after almost 2 years I have finally found the answer: I am. I am going to fix me.
Here is the time when I go off on another similar subject…my husband likes to say ???? A few years ago a woman we know found out she had a form of cancer. She was not much older that I am now. She spent about a minute feeling sorry for herself and then got to work getting her family ready. She wrote letters, put together information…all of those little things that are in a mother’s head that no one knows. Schedules, phone numbers, which kids can eat this, who they like to play with, etc. She spent days pouring over all of this. She made each of her small children little books she called ‘guides’ she wrote down all kinds of stories about her life, theirs, her husband, the state of politics..you name it. I remember thinking then (not aware of my own nasty thing lurking inside) that I should start writing things down. You never knew what could happen.
She was so brave and for over a year she fought like a Gladiator before she died. They traveled, she drank and ate what she wanted, she just loved life. I was , and still am, so sad for her. Every day. I don’t know if I could have been so strong but she was. I guess you never know what you can do..until you have to.
So that was when I started writing things down. Little notes, funny stories, recipes I made that we loved..or a funny story about what I made that bombed ???? Basically everything. My thoughts were that someday I would get it all on the computer to save for my kids. Last year I started doing this and when I was off work several months ago my husband suggested that I set it up like a blog and from then on I have written almost every day. Sometimes twice! So much of what I write is for my eyes only pretty much…but someday, this is going to make for a great compilation for my kids.
In January, my kids were eating breakfast. I had made something new that they loved. Scarfing their food was more like it. Anyhow, Noah says that I should be making a cookbook of all of the things I make that we like and organize it by holidays, birthdays, etc. Jacob says ‘She is silly..it’s her blog’ ! Can you imagine the smile I had? They got it.
So, see, this is why I do this. They love this, are proud of it and more than once I have heard them tell their friends that their mom likes to cook and writes about it. This is something I am proud of. They see that I am not only writing about food, but hoping that others want to share this experience with me. My writing is not life changing…I do not think I am changing lives 1 cheesecake at a time, I SO do not take myself that seriously! I like to write, I hope others like to read it…..everything that happens in between is just the glitter that makes this whole experience wonderful!
I have met more new friends this year that in my whole life combined, that are so complimenting, so gracious, so supportive…I could go on and on. Through the social networking sites, like Facebook (a necessary evil it seems I try not to be on there too much….sometimes not good for the self esteem…) I have met so many that I correspond with on a daily basis….it brings home to me why I do this. Growing your blog readership through Facebook likes seems to be the way to go these days. I have subscribers, I know, but I seem to get way more traffic from FB so for this it is a great tool. I love, LOVE to log in every day and read all of your comments, see what you all have going on and read your posts as well! I have learned so many new recipes to add to my ‘collection’ from all of you, so for that I think you. It is nice to ‘be’ surrounded by other like minded writers with no competition. Just the love of good food, good wine, family and loving life. This is my motto, really.
So I learned from my friend. She lived..even in her last hours, she lived. It was her I thought of when I saw my first test results, her I though of when I choked down every new bit of bad news. And, her I thought of when I see my health is coming back, no new ‘invaders’ creeping back under my skin. I am going to live life and love it all for better or worse…like her.
This has been a whirlwind of a summer. Many high-highs and some low-lows. But above all of this my family and I are becoming a strong and unbreakable unit. I think we are ready to head back to school (well…we are at 40%), back to work (well…that is a fib) and on to new challenges. I have had a dream of something I am working towards and I am so close I can taste it (literally) and the thought of this coming to fruition is making me crazy!! I have a few new projects in the works so I am learning to establish ‘office’ hours around here to get it all done. I am the queen of writing for publications that don’t pay me ???? No, really, I love the writing and I would do it for free any day. That’s not what it is about for me and never has been. Don’t yell at me!
Now on to the award….
Finally, I would like to thank the lovely Mel with Cooking With Mel who was nice enough to send me this sweet little award while I have been gone! Her posts are always mouth watering and when I read them it is just like she is here talking to me! She is encouraging, her posts are heartfelt and I am one of her biggest fans!
I wanted to give her a huge hug when I saw this but since I can’t, I just have to settle for this ????
She has a great site, so go check her out! Let her know I sent ya ????