A few days before spring break a few friends of mine and I went to a local winery after work for some wine tasting and adult conversation. It is roughly 2 miles from where I work and is in the most beautiful location. Nestled in the rolling hills of Bargersville and close to highway 37, Mallow Run is a gem.
On the weekends there is often live music as well as fresh local food. My husband and I go there often in the warmer months. We pack a basket full of goodies,chairs and head over to enjoy an evening outdoors. We have heard some great groups there as well as the Carmel Symphony and Jennie Devoe. Since it is a little over a mile from my house I should say that we go there often ????
Anyhow, even if you are not a wine drinker the atmosphere is relaxing and friendly. My friends and I try to go there every other month. We always say we will just stay an hour. Before you know it we have talked non-stop for 2 hours and it is 6:00…closing time.
I can not tell you how valuable this time is to me. When we first moved to the Indianapolis area in 1998 I really didn’t know anyone. When I had my first child we were just in our own little bubble. I had heard of women joining these Mothers Day Out programs but I never thought I would be able to relate. The one time I went to something like that at the library I left with a headache. It seemed like it was just a forum for women to complain about their husbands, weight gain, and sleepless nights. I really felt lucky. though. I had a wonderful husband, I was oblivious to my weight gain (At the time I was fat and happy ???? and I had the baby I had hoped and tried so hard to have.
So after so many years of self isolation I am so happy to have so many co-workers I call friends. I never realized how important it was to reconnect with other women. It seems like we never talk about kids and family or even work. We just have this unplanned stream of conversation. If I don’t see them for over a week I seem to miss it. I guess that means I am now at the place where I DO need friends.
A glass of a good wine, good food and good conversation are like a balm for the soul. I make it a point to carve out this “ME” time at least once a week. Sometimes it works out, sometimes it doesn’t but at least I try.
I think the biggest piece of advice I have given to new mothers over the years is to make sure to stay true to who you are. Do not change your core values to suit what others think or passing fads. Find a group, take a class, connect with other like-minded women and make sure you get out of the house every week. Take the time to doll yourself up and go out. You will be amazed at what it does for your spirit.