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Tell it Like it is Tuesday- Etiquette!

November 13, 2012 By admin 8 comments

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Tell it Like it is Tuesday!!!!

You know that moment when you get your receipt handed to you at the store and the clerk says “Have a Nice Day Mam” and you gawk at him. I mean, this kid who could be your own child, just Mam-ed you!

But what was he supposed to say? He was being polite just like his mother taught him to be. If  he had said nothing we would have thought him rude.

I am sure this has happened to you at some point. At least he used real words, made eye contact and spoke. In today’s society speaking in complete sentences, using non-abbreviated words and common courtesy have gone by the wayside a bit. I do not mean to be all “Old Lady” here, but I think you know what I mean.

But where does the line blur when it comes to common courtesy? It’s not just in the real world that social graces are lacking, it is in the virtual one as well.  The ability to comment ‘anonymously’ via the internet has opened up many to scrutiny, bullying, critiquing and general nastiness that might not have otherwise have happened to their face.

My experiences, and what spurred on this post, was being asked by a person who has blogged for all of 5 minutes how she can get her name on a list of PR companies so she can start getting free stuff. She wanted to skip all of the hard work and reap the rewards.  Give her an Iphone and suddenly she is a ‘writer’.  There is no easy button, no skip ahead 5 spaces card. I guess I thought it a bit nervy. No hello, I enjoy your work, could you help me get started. …

A close food friend of mine who has a fantastic cooking site recently commiserated with me about how she is almost afraid to share her fun upcoming events because inevitably she will get a little black rain cloud who will bring the rain. Why does she get all of the opportunities? Why does she get to have all of the fun?

Hard work. Years and hours of hard work. Late nights, countless moments missed with her family and planning.  For some of us, blogging is a hobby and for others it is more of a vocation.  Not a quick dollar, ‘it is so easy anyone can do it’ way to pass the time. I even saw a post a few weeks ago that listed blogging as a great way to earn money in just 2 hours a day. Money. In 2 hours. Sure…

But when did it become ok to say things to people online that we would never say to their face?

I asked several bloggers that I know to weigh in on the topic of social etiquette and here is what they had to say:

Introduce yourself when commenting on a blog for the first time and always be polite – as you would if you were in their home – even if you disagree with them.

Jennife[email protected]sodoughsavvy.com

For bloggers, their blog is their personal place where they can speak they mind and they take pride in it. While many of them are moms or dads, that doesn’t mean they aren’t writers and authors. You wouldn’t copy a book or newspaper article and publish it under your own name. The same rules (and copyright laws) apply to blog posts, so don’t copy and paste without permission.

Beth at In Good Cents, www.ingoodcents.com

Try to think of bloggers as real entities. You wouldn’t walk into Macy’s and start pinning advertisements for your own retail shop. The same goes for bloggers…we typically don’t like it when other people blanket our blog or facebook page with their own links. If you really want to build a relationship, a quick personalized note would go a lot further.

Rebeca at The Average Parent www.theaverageparent.com

So weigh in here. Do YOU feel like social graces are a thing of the past? When we never actually talk, meet, send letters, hear another persons voice-do we become desensitized to human emotion? Do we just not realize when we are rude and out of line?

Tell me below in the comments.  Don’t be shy, I know you have a lOT to say!

 

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Filed Under: Whatever Life Brings Tagged With: Tell It Like It Is Tuesday

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Comments

8 responses to “Tell it Like it is Tuesday- Etiquette!”

  1. Good Food Good Friends says:
    November 13, 2012 at 6:57 am
    It's so easy for people to be rude when they can hide behind their keyboard and not show their face. I can bet half the things they say via their computer/smart phones they would never dream of saying while looking them in the eye.
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  2. Cindy L Myers says:
    November 13, 2012 at 7:50 am
    It is easy because you lose tone and facial expressions. We are not personal on Social Media. I don't agree with this but it's true. Sad but true. *About the other blogger. This generation 30(not everyone) and younger want things now and expect things because they want it. It seems to be a generation of entitlement. Work ethic is something no one talks about anymore. Look at any Disney, MTV...well, any tv show kids have everything. Nice house all the "toys" and their parents are a nurse and exterminator and have 5 kids. In real life they would not live like this. MTV has shows like Cribs that show "stuff" people own. They don't show the work that went into getting it just the stuff.
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  3. Mandy @ South Your Mouth says:
    November 13, 2012 at 7:59 am
    What timing!! I've drafted some "Park Rules" that I'm debating on whether to post in the Notes tab on the South Your Mouth Facebook page. I probably won't because I wrote it in frustration and it sounds pretty twitchy but it made me feel better to write it. This is what I'm thinking of posting: Welcome to South Your Mouth. I hope you enjoy yourself! And if you decide to stay, here are a few things to know: *General: I’m not for everybody. My sense of humor is a bit out there and, at times, off-sides. Sometimes I swear. And I call people hookers. None of that is going to change. I’m not here to get rich and my goal every day is not to see how many new “likes” I get. I only want people here who want to be here because they “get” me and like my recipes. If I try to water it down too much, then I’m not serving the people who have supported me from the beginning. I don’t ever want to think of myself or SYM as being vanilla. If you’re looking for vanilla, there are a bazillion other blogs out there that will take care of that for you. I do this for the people that like my recipes and sense of humor. If you’re not a fan of either of those, then this might not be the place for you. *Pictures: I make this food and I take these pictures. I do. Me. Not some machine. If you wouldn’t say it about a picture of someone’s kid, please don’t say it about my food. It hurts. Writing “YUCK!!!” about a picture of something I’ve made is the equivalent of writing “UGLY!!!” about a picture of one of my kids. I sometimes post photos in real time – just after I’ve taken it out of the oven. Because I love food and it makes me happy. I then write the recipe post for the blog within the next 24 hours. I have a family. And a job. When I get the recipe written up, I’ll post it. If this causes you too much heartache, then I’m sure there’s another blog out there that does it better. *Comments: I LOVE to hear about the regional differences in dishes and know what you think about food but be nice or leave. Nice to me and nice to the other people here. I don’t expect everyone to like everything I do and I don’t want to live in a world where everyone agrees with me all the time but there’s a way of communicating differences without being disrespectful or rude.
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  4. Susan V says:
    November 13, 2012 at 8:28 am
    I was a "Host" online at AOL for years, both in the Chat Rooms & the Message Boards. I have found that because you can not read facial expressions or body language, it is very easy to miss the actual context of someones post. Also, the fact that people feel anonymous while at their keyboards, gives them power. I love so many blogs from the "Foodies". I don't understand how people can leave one word comments such as ICK or YUCK with out an explanation. Perhaps they don't like the texture of the mushrooms, or maybe they are allergic to the grains, perhaps the smell of Lamb is "wrong" to them. I know if I smell canned tuna I start to gag.... stems from my morning sickness (yes, that was 25 years ago, but that smell still gets to me). It took me 3 years to be able to eat sauerkraut after I got Salmonella. If there was an explanation, perhaps it wouldn't "hurt" so much. I am a tad bit "off center", so I enjoy the occasional off color joke/reference. I like double meanings. I love having to "think" when I read a post. I love differences, because they make us who & what we are. I am amazed at all the wonderful food blogs out there. I wish I had the gumption to do one. But for now, I will just enjoy all the ones out there. Please, all of you who take the time to Blog, take heart, there are many more of us who appreciate your efforts then you may realize!!!
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  5. Carrie @ Bakeaholic Mama says:
    November 13, 2012 at 5:05 pm
    Fabulous post! This gets me so nerved up you have no idea. -I have had several people ask for my PR contacts. I was torn, I want to help them..... but at the same time. I worked my tush off to get on those lists! Shouldn't they? - I have also had the emails from readers or newbie bloggers asking "How did you get lucky enough?" OR how do I get a larger following... Well friends there is no magic trick... just hard work. It's not luck! - And oh man do I hate it when snarky commenters post as anonymous. I can handle criticism, if it's given in a professional adult manner. People think it's an easy dollar... believe me I'm not in it for the money. I don't think of any of us are getting rich of our blogs!
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  6. Rebecca Walker says:
    November 13, 2012 at 6:01 pm
    YES!! Totally with you. My family (all male) tease me when I bemoan the fact that the world isn't still like it is in Jane Austen novels ( :) ). But what I mean by that is that "back then," and really up until the last 50 years or so, people used to speak to each other using certain "rules of civility," whether they liked each other or not. And they certainly used to use complete sentences. And they wrote real letters, expressing feelings and using punctuation and capital letters, and "before" was spelled using the alphabet not "b4." You get my gist. And, yes, absolutely, people use the anonymity or at least lack of eye contact of the internet to go beyond the pale sometimes. I've even encountered comments from individuals who seem to troll FB looking for pages to make fun of or condemn. REALLY!!! A) Get a real, productive life, and; B) If you feel absolutely compelled to be critical, please do so with full use of a dictionary, thesaurus and the general rules of grammar. Whew! Oh--and by the way--I really like your page, Heather. :)
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  7. Sherri says:
    November 13, 2012 at 8:17 pm
    I agree with Cindy about the younger generation's sense of entitlement. (What strikes me as bizarre is the number of older people I keep seeing who seem to be lacking manners, a filter, and a general sense of courtesy.) It's like bullying. If you wouldn't say it in person, then it shouldn't be texted or written either. I recently updated my Facebook page to inform everyone of my house rules. I have these rules posted in my home, and all the children are well aware of them. The highlights: "When in doubt, apply the rule of THINK before you speak. Ask yourself: 1. T – is what I am about to say TRUE? 2. H – is what I am about to say HELPFUL? 3. I – is what I am about to say INSPIRATIONAL? 4. N – is what I am about to say NECESSARY? 5. K – is what I am about to say KIND? IF you can answer YES to all of the above, please, feel free to proceed. Have fun and thanks for adding to the conversation! Thanks, Heather for bringing this topic to the table! Sherri
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  8. Kimby says:
    November 14, 2012 at 9:39 am
    Heather, I haven't encountered too much snarkiness in blog world (thankfully!), but I agree with you on the "link" issue. If a blog offers a check box to include your latest post, then by all means feel free. (I sometimes don't -- sometimes I just want to comment to support the blogger I'm reading!) But links in the comment section are akin to self-promotion. Tacky. I can't imagine the hours (years!) you've put into building your blog, ATKS, and all the things you're involved in, but you're seeing the results of YOUR hard work. Congrats on that!
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